Disclaimer: This blog post entry is a confession.
This morning I had a quiet moment in my favorite room in the house. I had a warm cup of coffee and chased it with a tall glass of water and looked around and felt nothing but gratitude. My grateful heart just grew and grew as I went to church and served joyfully and gratefully and spent time with our church family. The worship was beautiful, the message on-point, and the time spent afterwards was light and lovely. Grateful.
Oh, but then something. Either fatigue or frustration…who knows but one thing and then another and now I am disgruntled. Out went the serene gratefulness, and it’s now replaced with a disgruntled heart. How does this happen? Can I really have these huge disparities in my spirit? YES at times, and it is a good reminder that circumstances are fleeting and momentary.
So I dragged my disgruntled attitude with me into the next few hours and it led to nitpicking and nagging.
And then it was time to celebrate my dad’s birthday. I walked into the house and we all shared a meal and laughed and had cake. While we were singing “Happy Birthday” and “Las Mañanitas” it struck me that I had another year with my dad..and I was grateful. Again. Grateful to God for this day full of details that were blessings whether I knew it or not and struck with the thought that my teetering heart was toppled over when my focus shifted to what wasn’t happening my way or what wasn’t happening for me.
So to end this blog confession: I am thankful for my dad and his birthday and God’s faithfulness in his life. I am so grateful that all the details of all our tomorrow’s are in His hands and that we can trust Him, and I am thankful for the love God has for me both in my gratefulness and disgruntled”ness” (and yes, I know “disgruntledness” is not found in the dictionary…yet).
Thank you for reading and may we have grace for the disgruntled.
With all my heart,
P.S. Happy Birthday, again, to my dad, Sam. I am blessed to be your daughter.