Happy Sunday night and my apologies for not posting regularly as I had been doing. I have been taking a step back to seek direction on what to write or, better yet, if I am to write anything at all. Today there were a few people in passing who mentioned to keep blogging so here I am. Mario’s in the other room working on some videos for his recording arts students so perfect timing to just sit and write.
This week I read a quote and I searched and searched on the internet to see if I could find it or something similar to it but I can’t. I don’t know if it was on Pinterest or what but here’s basically what I remember it said, “If Christians really knew/believed the power of God living inside of them, they would be the most confident people on earth,” (if you know who said this or have seen the image somewhere, please let me know). When I read it I immediately thought, “Yes, that is so true.” Yet here I sit wondering this and that about what I should or shouldn’t be doing and second guessing a lot and thinking I’m just blowing it and not living up to my potential.
I went to a small meeting with some women from my church on Saturday morning and we were discussing prayer requests and mine was that I have this urgency to get all the answers to the questions about my destiny NOW like “Am I doing the right things to set myself up for what I am created to do” or “Is this what I am supposed to be spending time on” and questions like that. I don’t just want answers, I want them now and that is the problem with my thinking and my doubts.
“The Now Factor” is what’s been feeding these feelings of doubt. If I don’t know now then what? Am I just going to be heading down these rabbit holes only to be discouraged and have to turn around and start from the beginning?!
The truth is I don’t need to know these answers and neither do you. That is where faith is faith – in the daily doubts for our destiny. In the daily question of, “Is it going to be like this forever?” Faith extinguishes doubt like rock breaks scissors in “Rock, Paper, Scissors”. Faith is powerful! But how do I do this when my doubt seems more powerful than my faith?
Well, I think it’s in admitting I can’t. You can’t. And we just can’t. We never could. But God’s very Spirit living inside of us, when we decided to live a life surrendered to Him, CAN. That’s where that quote, about Christians being the most confident people on earth, comes in. Just think for a moment about your life and all the things God has shown you so far? I’m thinking about that too right now…God always had a way that led somewhere greater and deeper and richer than I thought, and it always was HIM. Even my obedience has very little to do with me and more to do with what I know to be true about God.
So what if I have these tendencies to be a doubtful, fearful woman in her 40’s?! God’s Spirit lives inside of me and that is all the confidence He says I need so I keep going. And with that truth I will end this blog with a line from a song we sang at church this morning, “There is power in the name of Jesus!” Take heart, my friends, and don’t give up. Keep believing even through the doubt.
Jeremiah 17:7 New Living Translation
7 “But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
Good night and have a great week!
With all my heart,