Good morning (or afternoon/evening) dear reader, it is 6:02 a.m., and I am coming fresh off a few good days of soul searching. I don’t have time to give you all the background, but safe to say that there is a reoccuring thing in my life that will rear its ugly head to remind me that it’s still there (here). Let’s call it a…scar.
Do you have a scar? I think if you live on this planet, you have a scar (or many scars). Anyways, I don’t want this to be a pity party for us but hey, sometimes you gotta go there. You’ve got to look that ugly thing in the face, call it what it is, breathe, look up and get ready to learn about…..YOU.
My recent angst about this particular scar hit me hard and add in a few days of poor sleep and let’s just say, it wasn’t pretty. I didn’t handle it well. I was angry. I was mean. I was unforgiving. I was bitter. And this just happened recently so even as I type those emotions are seething underneath the surface chomping at the bit to take center stage. But I read this just now in a devotional called My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers:
WISDOM FROM OSWALD CHAMBERS
Am I getting nobler, better, more helpful, more humble, as I get older? Am I exhibiting the life that men take knowledge of as having been with Jesus, or am I getting more self-assertive, more deliberately determined to have my own way? It is a great thing to tell yourself the truth.
So this morning I had to tell myself some truth. This scar that’s left isn’t the issue. The way I’m handling it is the real issue. The fact is that I’m still looking at the people who caused the scar and want them to pay for the damages. I don’t want to forgive. I want to judge, and that is not about them. That, unfortunately, is about me.
So this morning as I get ready to put on my headphones and run my heart out, I am leaning on God and wanting to focus on those scars…Jesus’ scars that paid the price for all the things we would ALL do on this planet to cause each other scars.
It’s an ugly process, but there’s beauty at the end. There is immeasurable value in facing it. So let’s face it today. We have scars, but we also have miracle stories because of them. The scars have value. We are valuable. Jesus’ scars tell us that.
With all my heart,