Good morning. So today started out with fresh worries. How about you? Earlier this week someone suggested that I start out the day writing things down that I am grateful for and today I am grateful for that suggestion because it set my mind right just now. What are you grateful for today? There really are so many things, but the world screams at us to be afraid of everything. Fear of the unknown creeps around decisions and situations that causes anxiety. I am well acquainted with fear based decisions. They always end up badly, by the way, and they should. Faith is solid, and when I choose to go in the direction of faith I step out of fear.
This past Tuesday night I was sitting in church and a situation happened that I feared I had failed in. I wanted to run out of the room, literally. I was sitting in my seat fighting the overwhelming physical and emotional pull to flee the scene. My skin was crawling and my heart was racing. I couldn’t hear what the pastor was saying – all other sounds around me were muffled. I could only hear the words in my head. I was physically manifesting this fear that I was exposed for what I really think in my head- that I am just a failure and all my attempts otherwise will end up in the same place…failure. I know – that’s some negative thinking right there, but it’s true. My mind goes there. I hung in there, though. By some amazing miracle of God I stayed put and little by little the feelings washed away, and I was able to hear words coming from the pastor. The moment passed, and I survived it. Better yet, I was stronger for it.
No one saw this battle. No one knew this victory. I think even my husband sitting next to me wouldn’t have known this had gone on had I not told him later that night. And here I am two days later writing about something so private, but it was HUGE! I know now that I exercised faith sitting there, and it literally dispelled and demolished the fear I felt in that moment. I hated being that uncomfortable, but let me tell you this: I am better for it. So I guess that’s what I want to leave on this page today, exercise your faith. Let it happen and don’t shrink back! We are not alone in this, look what David wrote in Psalm 56:
“In God I have put my trust; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” Psalm 56:11
We are free to exercise our faith, so let’s do it!
With all my heart,