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No More Bubble Wrap Please.

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This attractive outfit right here has been my go-to for quite some time, probably close to 43 years. That’s a long time to get used to something, don’t you think? So imagine my surprise when a week ago something happened and my go-to wasn’t cutting it anymore, and I was ready to bust out of that thing! So here’s the story. At the beginning of last week I helped with something at my church right after work and was dreading seeing someone there. I have an ongoing struggle with this person because they don’t like me that much. At least that’s how I feel. I know, it sounds so petty for a woman my age, but I’m being honest here.  I serve in a small church so things are pretty out in the open. It’s not like in a large church setting where you just blend in and float somewhere in the back. Things are front and center here. It is one of the most beautiful yet agonizing things about our intimate church. Anyways, here I was driving along to church where I was going to see this person, and I was trying to figure this thing out. Why doesn’t this person like me? Is it me or them or both? What could I do better at? How can I just fake the funk? How do I do this? I am tired of this? FORGET THIS?!!! (Those were the thoughts in my head). Then, all of a sudden, I started this dialogue in my heart and mind with God. At the end of the dialogue, I said to Him, “You know what I always do in these situations (the bubble wrap thing). I clam up and hide and avoid and retreat and just act strange. Please help me to not do this. Maybe I am in this person’s life to grow them in loving someone like me and maybe I am in their life to learn how to not be hung up on how someone views me – whatever the reason, I trust You, God. I want to trust You, so show me how.” I kid you not, almost as soon as I was about to pull into the church parking lot to face this person, I felt like my hand burst forth from my go-to bubble wrap outfit and I grabbed God’s hand and He said to me (not audibly – but this is the only way I know how to explain it in words), “I will show you. Let’s go. You can do this with Me.” I cannot begin to explain the power of that experience that day. I felt so alive and so different, so free. I saw the person and was not hung up on how they spoke to me or how I was feeling. I was totally consumed with the fact that God was with me. It was like my feet were planted on some kind of different soil and my old bubble wrap outfit ? Well, it was nowhere to be found, and I was totally fine without it – more than fine. For the first time, I was free. Free to love and be loved and free to move and breathe without my restricting and strange bubble wrap suit. Later on I was explaining all of this to my husband, and he said, “You did look different when I saw you there. It blessed me to see you like that.” All this is not to say I haven’t reached for that go-to outfit since then. I do feel that pull. I felt it last night even, but the funny thing is that I am aware of it now. I never was before, and that, in and of itself, is a miracle. So, let’s have the courage to face even the things we call petty and push our hand through our go-to outfits or habits and grab hold of God’s hand for

“…With men this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26b

 

Thank you, Jesus. You have made a way for us to do the impossible.

Thank you, dear reader, for taking the time to stop and read.

In Christ’s Love,

Sonia